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    Thread: AUTISM awareness matters

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    1. #1
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      Default AUTISM awareness matters

      You know it's funny, I never wanted to do one of these things.

      Suppose I never wanted anyone to see this side of me... I felt they had no reason too I guess. I mean, they didn't need to know anything more than what I choose to tell em right? So this 'age of internet' goes, we share what we choose to let people think they see the real us, the best side of us.... so I don't need to say/show/do anything more about it then? cool! OK lets say no more and move on...

      Like you already know GT, Peter and Sumedha anyway don't you? we are one in the same, a guy obsessed with tech in all it's forms, my obsession or focus lately (10 yeas plus) is phones, tablets, computers tech, then there is a guy wanting to be forever alone (read: on my own, in my own world, that means with nobody else here but myself) with myself, my mind and my ideas about how this universe works. Also here is a Buddhist, seeing kerma in everyday life while doing my best to be on the right side of it.

      But lately I have been looking back over the years of this life so far and while learning so much in that process about myself, I have over and again been reminded that at the very least some of you guys need a little bit of knowledge about me, something I never said before to anyone in computer land before (well here anyway) however I suspected some of you have always known. Still reading eh? Ok we move on.

      A little background then? OK. Growing up I didn't understand why people didn't just say what they meant, I mean they did kinda but it was always in a silly non logical way that wasn't very efficient and took far too long to just say what you meant!!! It was this difference that made me think they were wrong, backward, unevolved and so I tended to avoid people like this.
      Many years on we have the internet forums, social media and while Ive become much better at 'getting it' (or at least pretending too) sometimes it's even harder to understand what someones feeling within the post if they don't clearly state it out and if I had trouble understanding it I would tend to just avoid answering for fear of misunderstanding your point.

      So this brings me to today, this thread and this post, my question to you is. Was I dismissive or cutting to your point of view? on here, EMB, my open twitter account (@gods_toy if your wondering) or other forums I use? Or maybe I came across as uncaring in my reply? sometimes I'm just was unable to find the right way to react to what you said (read: didn't really know how to)... so I didn't... Maybe I just didn't know what to do next so I froze and did nothing...

      Well for the most part the quick answer is 'I'm not wired up like most of you' some of you already know this, and believe me it pains me to not just get to the point of this thread and say it!! So OK the full, final and ultimate answer is what you need and here it is:


      My name is Peter and I have Aspergers syndrome.
      Sumedha.

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      Ok then you made it this far, now you're probably wondering Aspergers Syndrome? What's that?
      Well first I will tell you what it is not in relation to this thread, it is not is an excuse on my part to avoid responsibility for stuff said here or anywhere on the net.

      According to autismireland.ie it is calssed as:



      (AS) is a complex brain disorder and is seen as part of the Autistic Spectrum. Generally those affected by the condition have an IQ within the normal range but may have extremely poor social and communication skills. Common characteristics can be a lack of empathy, little ability to form relationships, one-sided conversations and an intense absorption with a special interest. Sometimes movements can be clumsy.



      There are a lot of symptoms connected with the condition and nobody will ever have all of the symptoms and no two people will ever have the same combination of symptoms. The majority of people with Asperger Syndrome will experience difficulties in developing their social, communication and emotional skills.


      Asperger Syndrome or AS for short is part of the autistic spectrum and shares some of the same characteristics as autism. Many people with Asperger Syndrome experience impairments in the following areas: -

      Social Interaction
      Individuals can have problems interacting socially; they may seem quiet or be called “loners”. Some people with AS can appear socially inappropriate or naive.

      Communication
      Individuals can have problems with over elaborate or double meaning language and may interpret some things literally. Some people with Asperger Syndrome may need visual written back-ups and prompts.

      Imagination
      Individuals may be very rigid thinkers and relay a lot on timetables and routines. Some people with Asperger Syndrome will have problems grasping concepts that aren’t very black and white. Asperger Syndrome was only confirmed as a distinct Autistic Spectrum Disorder in the early 1990's. Some professionals and members of the public have a limited understanding of Asperger Syndrome.




      And in the intrest of balance

      Dependable – people with AS desire routine and so are punctual, reliable and dependable

      Commitment – they are loyal and hardworking

      Specialist knowledge – many people with AS have a high knowledge in specialist areas. This interest can be especially beneficial for an employer

      Recall – people with AS are often good with facts and figures and have a good memory for detail

      Concentration – people with AS can have good concentration for tasks that others find boring or repetitive

      Logical thinkers – people with AS can be very skilled at logical problem solving




      Having AS does not mean that a person is any less intelligent that the next person. In fact, many studies have shown that people with AS often have above average intelligence in specific areas and may excel in mathematics or music, for example.
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      These are powerful posts, beginning a thread of pointed honesty and openness. They humble me a bit.

      Quote Originally Posted by God's Toy View Post
      Dependable people with AS desire routine and so are punctual, reliable and dependable

      Commitment they are loyal and hardworking

      Specialist knowledge many people with AS have a high knowledge in specialist areas. This interest can be especially beneficial for an employer

      Recall people with AS are often good with facts and figures and have a good memory for detail

      Concentration people with AS can have good concentration for tasks that others find boring or repetitive

      Logical thinkers people with AS can be very skilled at logical problem solving
      During my three years participating in this diverse community, all of these traits were obvious or were discernible just beneath the surface.
      It is rewarding to see our administrator, he who often hangs back, identify and share self-knowledge. We all do it to larger or smaller degrees, but this is unadorned and direct, the writing of a committed specialist who knows himself full well.

      I feel that it deserves a comment of appreciation and thanks.

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      In this thread I want to drop in and out from time to time just adding to things as I need, too provide an insight to the world from an Aspie point of view.

      Just to add, there is a lot of good sides to being an aspie! intense focus and being able to take in huge amounts of information and recall it all at a monent's notice are just two. In this thread I would like to call out the stereo typical view from NT's (Neurotypical/'Normal people' ) who just don't understand what is really going on in the Apsie mind and to point out just how many of us there are 'here' and, to be frank, how we have taken over and shaped the world without you ever knowing... Human 2.0 and super connected minds ... more later on that....

      I would like to thank you for taking the time to read, know and understand me/us/them better.
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      I have just spent a year working with a young woman who has AS. She was a delight and a pleasure to be with, also had ADHD, a quick and funny sense of humour and a huge issue with talking lollol
      When she first started with us, she was very shy, had been treated as the baby in her family due to her 'condition' and found it hard to interact easily with people but only on the phone. She used to get in huge flaps and panics about things but give her a task connected to IT and she would sort it out no problem.
      One thing this amazing young woman told us all, was that as she was aware she had issues in social dealings and communicating with people, she knew it was no excuse to be rude, bad mannered and not considering people's feelings when she spoke directly. Her mission in life, was to accept responsibility for those interactions and trying to focus on how she could improve this situation.
      She amazed and humbled me constantly! She had me in knots laughing and frustrated me at times. I am so honoured I got to know this amazing 23 year old who had a unique perspective on life and yet, took complete responsibility for things and never used this as an excuse.

      Good for you for sharing Peter and I have worked with several people on various levels of the autism spectrum and good for you for opening up. Its always the biggest step to healing ourselves.

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      Thanks guys, its nice knowing I have a place on the interwebs like MW, lol even if I do own it!

      Its so nice to read such nice words, really lifted my heart. I thank you.

      Yes I hate to see people use the Aspie stereo types behavior as a excuse or a right to be rude to other people. Its sad but it happens, more often its by people who Dont have it but like the freedoms it gives them to say they do.

      It sometimes hardest for me when I just Dont see how what I said could be 'wrong' when i just told the truth of how things are, even if/after its spelled out to me why its considered rude or inappropriate I often just agree to move on past the debate without fully 'agreeing' with what was said.

      More often I feel people should be told how things really are and not play those stupid games where they Dont say what they mean but still get offended if you Dont pick up on what they are not even saying... But fully understand that is my cross and apart from other aspies, I'm mostly alone in that way of thinking.


      But please remember this, (as Dr G says in the video below) if you meet one aspie, you met one aspie. That is to say just like everyone on this planet, you can't compare one to the other as we are all different. Please Dont tar us all with that limited thinking.



      Thanks for responding.




      Here is a video that should help people find more info understand better.



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      Dearest Peter!

      Be still my heart! I am absolutely delighted to see this thread of yours and enjoyed reading every word of it, good for you sweetheart!! And as you said, even though you own MW; it is a place for everyone, it is a wonderful place to be, it gives one the opportunity to share such things openly that maybe difficult to share that are a part of one's Life, and being able to do it at one's own pace - allows for growth. Everyone has their own unique journey in this thing we call Life and it is a beautiful thing we can share them together .... so, I too, thank you for sharing this part of you that makes you, YOU!

      Thank you for allowing us, your friends and family, help us o understand the inner workings of you a little bit better.

      Always,
      In Loving Memory.
      Lion Spirit Walker / September 17, 1963 - Dec 30, 2014.
      ... All with Purpose ...

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      Thanks polls, your kind words are help make MW the wonderful place it is!

      In this thread among other things I'm going to be pointing out how thinking is different between NT's and Aspie minds and that just because the aspie mind can seem stuck like a fright train on a track of logic and just 'telling it like it is' (regardless of how in the 'real' world such thinking can be considered hurtful and/or rude)
      I feel we must also point out that living in this planet with so many NT's and their apparent lack of high functioning logic and almost spaghetti junction like way of dealing with things can be draining and cause frustration but at times can be beneficial and efficient. A more balanced approach to both mindsets I think will help everyone.
      I'm not saying one way is right or one is wrong, just pointing things out as I feel needed.
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      I would also like to add, in the interest of balance, that no matter who we are or what we choose to label ourselves, or have others label us, we are all unique individuals and I personally do not like being labelled anything except me. Bearing in mind also that Aspergers, is only one of a 'newly' identified group of issues, there are going to be many other things coming to light. Are these new? Or are they things that have always been around and people are only now labelling them? Just as people who are now labelled as schizophrenic etc were also the shamen of old.

      I prefer not to be called a NT, an Aspie or whatever terms people use. I am wired as I am wired, I have learned to deal with it and the conditioning that also contributed to who and what I am. I have always been vehemently opposed to being labelled this or that for my own personal reasons. I am just me....a spiritual being having a human experience.

      You are you Peter. If you choose to take on a label and be defined as something, as Polly said, good for you for clarifying things from your perspective.

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      Hey peeps,

      To be more clear incase anyone was/is wondering, I can't say I choose to take on a label and/or defined by it as such, but more so it's having dealt most frustratingly with supposed 'NT 'people (as I prefer to call them in context of this thread to highlight the differences between mindsets) defining me as such. You guys can call yourself whatever you want to in this wonderful free world, it's all good. I however have found myself agreeing with the aspie way of looking at this world, their logic of how things should/would/could be long before I realised what it was called or labeled by some, to me it just was the way I was built and for the reasons of this thread I will be using NT and aspie to differentiate the two.


      To be honest with everyone I could not give a monkeys who does or does not read/agree/disagree or comment on/in/about this thread as it is simply my record for my keeping. Maybe I'll posts 50 posts a week or maybe one per year, maybe i'll engage in responses, ask for comments or maybe I won't. I hope not but If people are being put off by it I can create a private forum just for it/and/or those wanting to see it updated, hell, I can make a forum just for them if they want some alone time! so it's all good






      I will also be getting podcasts and videos and linking them back here, feel free to view if you wanna, you may just learn something, or not, its all good
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      Subtypes/Signs and Symptoms (Part 1/2)





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      Default Aspie and 'people' friends

      Friendships?
      I've been divided many time on this, in most parts of my everyday life I couldn't give a mutts left nut who likes or dislikes me and/or why, it is my default to not want to connect/chat to anyone for any reason other than information exchange unless I have to. *EDIT: I suppose that does not count when one is acting 'normal', play-acting for those times when you have to fit in, for the sake of the team/family or whatever the case?*
      But yet, hmm... I suppose this programming of being Human is there doing it's thing, that 'need' for connection with another person(s) every now and then comes up and I feel like 'Yea I want to hang out with someone'.
      I have one school chum who I see about every 5 years or so, we catch up and Skype a bit and then it's 'oh look, its 5 more years', maybe that ties me over.
      Have often wondered what it would be like to have a 'friend' call over, just to say Hi, coming out for a drink' or something. Would I welcome the random-ness? lol wouldn't be going out mind you but have wondered all the same.








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      Well done Peter.
      ...


      Growth Through Adversity

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      Thanks. its been a long time coming that for sure.


      Still the same guy you know, just saying something I've never said before (publicly)

      Its a watch this space kinda thing... if you want to that is.
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      Quote Originally Posted by God's Toy View Post
      Its a watch this space kinda thing... if you want to that is.
      I do very much!!
      In Loving Memory.
      Lion Spirit Walker / September 17, 1963 - Dec 30, 2014.
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      Oh yes, having conversations with normal people can be very hard when you don't understand the simple things they are referring to (sometimes I wish people would just say what they mean).. Here is a typical example from a post on another website dealing with this very issue.



      Asperger’s Syndrome versus Alpha Male Syndrome


      (Social interactions can get easier over time, but not always less awkward, as this recent post demonstrates. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way. I grew up before Asperger’s was a diagnosis. As a result, I had to learn my own coping mechanisms for navigating the social world. The mechanisms I taught myself, like mimicry and social scripting, helped…but they also created problems of their own. The moral of this story: find a balance between navigating small talk and being yourself. Otherwise? You’re on the hook for a long line of dead-end conversations.)

      December, 2009

      Monday morning, 7 a.m.

      I make a rare appearance in the break room at work. I’m sipping coffee, trying to wake up. I’m standing in the corner hoping to avoid people, but a co-worker makes intentional eye contact and starts walking towards me. I think, “Why, god? Why?” I can’t remember his name or which department he’s from.

      The protective social mimicry kicks in.


      Co-worker: Dude, can you believe it?

      Me: Dude, I really can’t.

      I have no idea what he’s talking about.

      Co-worker: You know what I’m talking about … right?

      Me: Of course. You’re talking about … you know, what a surprise it was.

      C: I know! Twenty-one six in, like, no time at all!

      I blank out … pause … then realize that this is likely a sports reference of some sort.

      M: I mean, really. It was crazy.

      C: Psshh. Best-team-in-the-league? Not anymore, buddy.

      M: I know, right?

      C: Did you see the whole thing?

      M: Oh yeah. You didn’t give up on it, did you?

      C: Almost. Dude … I almost stopped at half time.

      “Half time” … we’re probably talking about football. Was the super bowl this weekend? Should I make a super bowl reference? No. Not yet. Rule #1 in conversing with humans: stay vague.

      M: Still, games like that … that’s what it’s all about.

      C: Oh no doubt.

      Yikes. He’s looking at me expectantly, but I’m out of ammo. I’m glancing at the door behind him, thinking, “He’s on to you! Run!”

      M: So.

      I need to bait him into saying something. What do they do in football?

      M: The, um, throwing game…

      I pause to see if he’ll pick up the slack.

      C: Seriously. It killed, you know? I mean, it was non-existent there for awhile, I didn’t think it was gonna happen, but yeah. It killed.

      M: He stepped up when it mattered.

      I’m assuming there’s a notable “he” involved; seems like a safe bet.

      C: They oughtta shorten his last name to just “Man,” you know?

      What?

      M: Yes! There’s an idea. And put a “the” in front of it. The Man.

      C: Boo-yeah!

      M: Woo!

      He holds a fist up. I experimentally hold a fist up. He proceeds to tap his knuckles against mine. Oh god … have I just been initiated into a weird sports cult?

      M: Wow, look at the time. I’m late for a meeting…

      There is no meeting.

      C: Take it easy, bro.

      I flee the scene.
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      Certainly keeping my eyes open.


      Growth Through Adversity

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      So I got a PM From a friend, it hit me that I haven't spoke to him in over 6 months.


      Sometimes I just hate being locked with my own mind as no matter how I want to... I know I wont.


      Here is one of a few songs that perfectly capture everything I mean as my mind just like his room, a playground for his toys, a place of unlimited wonderland and adventure, is my place to be, me. the chorus says "I'd LIKE to make myself believe" suggesting a desire of something that can not be accomplished. To be 'Me' with you.




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      I would agree with a lot of this.



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      Hmm me? Have a party!
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