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    Thread: AUTISM awareness matters

    1. #61
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      Some quotes I agree with/like or just want to post:



      “And now I know it is perfectly natural for me not to look at someone when I talk. Those of us with Asperger's are just not comfortable doing it. In fact, I don'treally understand why it's considered normal to stare at someone's eyeballs.”

      John Elder Robison




      “Females with ASDs often develop ‘coping mechanisms’ that can cover up the intrinsic difficulties they experience. They may mimic their peers, watch from the sidelines, use their intellect to figure out the best ways to remain undetected, and they will study, practice, and learn appropriate approaches to social situations. Sounds easy enough, but in fact these strategies take a lot of work and can more often than not lead to exhaustion, withdrawal, anxiety, selective mutism, and depression.


      -Dr. Shana Nichols”




      “When the anger is intense, the person with Asperger's syndrome may be in a 'blind rage' and unable to see the signals indicating that it would be appropriate to stop. Feelings of anger can also be in response in situations where we would expect other emotions. I have noted that sadness may be expressed as anger.”


      ― Tony Attwood



      “I don't understand why people never say what they mean. It's like the immigrants who come to a country and learn the language but are completely baffled by idioms. (Seriously, how could anyone who isn't a native English speaker 'get the picture,' so to speak, and not assume it has something to do with a photo or a painting?)”


      ― Jodi Picoult


      Human 2.0:

      “What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool?

      You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done.”


      ― Temple Grandin
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      Default found on the net. agree 100%

      This is tailored to adults who have Aspergers and recently were diagnosed, but the list can apply to many ages and many conditions other than Aspergers Syndrome.


      20 Things Not to Say to a Person with Aspergers

      1. Everyone feels like that sometimes.
      [wait, what?]

      2. Everything happens for a reason.
      [suppose that explains you anyway]

      3. Youíre fine. They have too many labels nowadays.
      [Dude STFU!]

      4. That reminds me of me. I wonder if I have that too.
      [yep jump on the old wagon, c'mon we have loads of room..]

      5. Things could always be worse.
      [Yes, there could be more NT's like you firing responses like that back at me...]

      6. At least you donít have autism.
      [WTF? ]

      7. Donít worry. Be happy. Think Positive.
      [yes thinking about it will help me get out of my mind... really?]

      8. Thatís no big deal.
      [Not for you anyway]

      9. Youíre too serious. Get out of your head and help others.
      [Ha, see no7...]

      10. Everyone has problems. Stop analyzing yours.
      [oh yea cos your perfect...]

      11. I never would have guessed. You seem so normal.
      [practice, practice , practice , practice , practice , practice ,practice ,practice ,.... getting it now?]

      12. Are you sure? Maybe you need a second opinion.
      [ug.. just stop talking now]

      13. Why do you think that?
      [you dont?]

      14. Thatís weird. Good luck.
      [gee, I take a huge step in telling, its probable one of the very few i did tell and that's your response...]

      15. Arenít you glad you found out?
      [wait, Should I be?]

      16. Thatís so trendy. Everyone thinks they have that.
      [yep, its everywhere now jump on... wait, see note no4]

      17. Did you get an ďofficialĒ diagnosis?
      [and you did to say your an NT]

      18. Iím uncomfortable with people classifying themselves by a diagnosis.
      [Ha, so many things I could say but... lets just say you NEVER speak to me again and were sorted]

      19. My cousinís neighbor has Aspergers.
      [always one]

      20. Well, now that you know, stop focusing on it, and get on with your life.
      [k, see all the last 19 notes there bud..]
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    3. #63
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      The following are from tweets from a Aspergers a conference:


      People w/ Autism may socialise well / be life and soul of party but often relying on intellect rather than social skills

      @AsIAmIreland A group of adults with Aspergers recently told Tony Attwood that anxiety was the biggest challenge in their lives

      @AsIAmIreland Attwood - People with Autism incredibly over-sensitive to negative moods inothers

      @AsIAmIreland Attwood - People with Autism very perceptive to people being over happy/affectionate or in a bad mood etc


      ASD have emotional tides, keep a mood diary, plot overtime to identify danger points.

      @AsIAmIreland Attwood: 86% of adults with AS have reported daily problems with anxiety #MCAutism

      @AsIAmIreland Attwood: Sadness can often be expressed as anger by those with AS #MCAutism
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      I'm thinking of adding some more here that I have related to personally.



      I find Dilbert to be a really good reference of an aspie point of view having to deal with most NT's










      Arriving to work most days: I just want to get in and get on with something, ANYTHING to do but have to do the pointless chatter..












      Talking to people: When I go to ask someone a question, does it matter that I should (or not) ask them questions not related to the reason I am there in the first place...










      Yep GUILTY: Knowing what I do about myself now, I often find myself telling people 'how better' to do things without stopping to think they probably don't want to know or care what I have to say. But in that moment, My 'need' to make them better can seldom be held back. until that is, I have time to (over) think things.
      Attached Images Attached Images
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      Often getting those two mixed up but at that time I see it so clear until I'm told, "Eh Peter, its sarcasm'.. or not.

















      Fake interview: Yes I have been at some within my own work place .
      Being asked join a committee with the promise of a full time job out of the end of it, be it the 'Computer upgrade'/'social networking' or 'new website upgrade' or anything along those lines by people who really should know better, I join and over the time we work on solvable problems.

      When done some months later they will, A, let me get back/on with my old job with a simple 'thanks' now get back to what you were doing before... Meaning: no you wont even get credit for fixing the problems or upgrading anything) or B, we don't have a JOB as such but have some more project work coming down the line at a later date fob off reply/long term finger... Ehh what?.
      Both A and B mean no new job for me but problem fixed for them.
      I tell ya, sometimes I want to scream: DAMMIT I KNOW MORE THAT YOU! HOW DID YOU GET THAT JOB anyway!!!?? but don't as I'm not sure if the outcome will be A or B...

      I smile than leave more angry that I let myself be fooled once more.
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      I so relate to this.


      Quote Originally Posted by God's Toy View Post



      Arriving to work most days: I just want to get in and get on with something, ANYTHING to do but have to do the pointless chatter..

      I go to work every day much earlier than perhaps I need to, simply so that I can go to work and not have to greet everyone as each person arrives with their own stories of their commute or of their home life the night before. I am not antisocial, but I suppose I am borderline.

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      Indeed. I too try avoid chats for many reasons but lately I am getting worried about my lack of voice control!
      As I get older I'm finding it harder to 'hold my tongue' and say nothing or worse still blurt out whats on my mind bluntly without thinking what i'm saying!
      This has lead to some awkward times and I fear it's starting to get out of hand. It's an almost unstoppable need to say what is there in my head and when I do I hear myself and wish I didn't ...


      Just wish I could get a day of no one talking to me at all...
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      Quote Originally Posted by God's Toy View Post
      Indeed. I too try avoid chats for many reasons but lately I am getting worried about my lack of voice control!
      As I get older I'm finding it harder to 'hold my tongue' and say nothing or worse still blurt out whats on my mind bluntly without thinking what i'm saying!
      This has lead to some awkward times and I fear it's starting to get out of hand. It's an almost unstoppable need to say what is there in my head and when I do I hear myself and wish I didn't ...


      Just wish I could get a day of no one talking to me at all...
      LOL The older you get, the worse that gets! I know!

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      I hear ya Lorri, I wish I had a auto mute control that let me say what I feel but no one hears it!
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      I like Dr G as he celebrates Asperger's syndrome! To him, aspies as awesome!


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      Unhappy Darn it!

      So it has come around once more in my life...

      OK the story is a repeating one, perhaps so because of the the way I've always dealt with things ... or not 'dealt' with them.
      anyhoo its that old chestnut: Making a new friend

      Where I work are very short staffed due to number being cut and people moving on, so in the meantime we are getting some Temps in to help us out with the day to day stuff that takes up most of our time.

      So to start:
      A new temp guy in work has spent some time with me ( a few weeks now) as I show him how this place works and what I do in the many departments day to day. So I try the 'get to know you' lines I see NT's use all the time, as after all the email did say: "OK Peter", the email said, "You must show him all you do, be supportive, be friendly". hmm.... Wait, like a friend? naa I say to my self, ill just pass on all I know and not get involved in the day to day stuff and just 'play' the part they want me to play, you know, put on that mask you always use and ACT it out for as long as I'm told too. after all He will never know and it will only be for a short while.

      Fast forward a few weeks and I'm finding myself almost looking forward to seeing him come in and hearing about his time off, he's a cool guy, witty and sharp....perhaps I should open up a little more? after all its been a long time... BUT WAIT Pete!! 'STOP it' I hear myself say, you know where this leads too, that place of not wanting to do that whole 'Friend stuff' of bonding and hanging out while also wanting to have him around! and yes this will end up letting yet another one get away as you fight back and forth this endless battle in your head.

      OK so I hold back, ease off on the 'cool dude' stuff I can dish out....(so I'm told anyway) and all is good, until He says
      "Hey dude, we should hang out!" Or "if I'm wrong, I'll buy you a paint, where do you drink anyway?" a few too many times.... wait, I pretend not to hear those as I know as soon as I say NO it will change the status of the relationship and he will think I'm an ass.

      So I back off.

      Everything is fine until one day he comes out and says, "I want to hang out with ya dude"! WHAT?.... And BANG! there it goes, I have to recoil back into not talking, being 'me' be that 'Robot' with cold logic at its core, people leave you alone when hes out as just look what being this cool Pete dude has once more landed you in, a place that I don't want to be, a place of 'Hanging out' of doing stuff' with someone... A person who is cool in many ways but just wont understand that I cant do that stuff with people in the real world as I wont care about it in the long run.


      And so we come here to remind myself, to post here so I can learn from this... Pete, if it's across the internet, its fine, no big deal, no demands no expectation no commitment, just look at the cool guys you know on MW, on Twitter and the many boards your apart off, but please don't go looking for more than that in the 'real' world... just don't.







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      Peter:

      If in a meeting, Dont ever do what I did and scream 'if the person doesn't stop kicking my ****ing chair I'll kick your ****ing head in'.



      Yes you did that yesterday and I Dont know how I/we/you wasn't sacked on the spot.

      Sometimes #Asperger's is not so awesome...
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      So Seryn and I started sound therapy today to help us/our ears/brain tune out all the unwanted sounds all around us that NT's do in every day life without even thinking about it.

      ... my head hurts, my ears hurt and are ringing... its only day 1 and we are two sessions in.

      But I am standing firm in this, I/we can do it! after all its only two 30 mins of distorted music twice per day for 20 days. But my god 85 dB in your ear-hole is almost too much for me.


      I will report here if anything changes.
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      Please keep us informed about this. I hope that sound therapy proves helpful or at least enlightening.
      I think it great that you and Seryn have found this path to share.



      Quote Originally Posted by God's Toy View Post
      So Seryn and I started sound therapy today to help us/our ears/brain tune out all the unwanted sounds all around us that NT's do in every day life without even thinking about it.

      ... my head hurts, my ears hurt and are ringing... its only day 1 and we are two sessions in.

      But I am standing firm in this, I/we can do it! after all its only two 30 mins of distorted music twice per day for 20 days. But my god 85 dB in your ear-hole is almost too much for me.


      I will report here if anything changes.

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      Thanks, it's a learning for the both of us... Seryn doesn't see the point so she is being paid at this point...



      We are over the halfway mark now and as I type this I'm playing session 13 myself. It can lead to headaches and/or tension across my face but noting I cant handle.
      It is funny that Seryn's hearing test (before the the sound therapy started) was very close to mine with her left ear being dull to a few frequencies and her right doing more work.
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      I will be interested to see how this goes for you both Peter. The whole sound issue is a big point for many energy workers right now!
      I know on a personal level, my hearing has become so acute, the 'normal' world is deafening! Only in nature or at home, where I can control the input to some extent, can I find some middle ground.
      Good luck with it all.

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      Prolog: I often have/had problems hearing people talking to me when something as simple as a squeaking wheel is making noise 50 meters away. I use to be told I was a an oddball as I found it very hard to concentrate when so many were talking around me... or sometimes just having them breeding in the same room set me off as it was so loud!




      Ok so the audio sessions are over and this is my take on it.

      As stated a few posts ago it was 20 sessions of 30 mins each at a volume of no less than 85 dB, this X 10 days. (2 sessions per day at least 3 hours apart) equipment was a set of sennheiser higher end headphones and Sony walkman plus a sound level booster and a sound level dB meter. (equipment was provided but I could have used my own if needed as it was all MP3 files anyway)

      How the system works is you just listen to music for 30 mins at a time (songs chosen for a certain type of energy and tempo) limited selection of songs from 60's 70's 80's and 90's with a little 2000 added in too for good measure. Many of the songs were not my type of music but I suppose they had a reason to be there so I didn't let those tunes put me off.

      How it supposedly helps your ears and brain is it will help you deal with sudden sound level changes by making something predictable as music a completely random sound mess. How it does this is simply by cutting the bass while lashing up the treble but only for a moment, then cut both with pounding up the midrange and now add some randomness like mega bass and other sounds like distortion and you're getting the picture here, yea it is not nice to listen too most of the time.


      The first few days, say 1 to 3 were pure hell! My head hurt, my ears hurt and even my face hurt! I was dreading it after those few days.

      Days 4 to 6 I was use to the sounds changing with almost no pain, no feeling of wanting to just tear those cans off my head and forget it, I was able to just put them on my head play the music and do stuff (nothing that would take my attention away from the music I might add)

      Day 7 to 10, Wow I had to stop the recording a few times to see if the music was still changing in the same way as I sometimes could not hear it change at all.
      Yep sounds kinda nuts but I was like "wait, is this thing still changing..." then I would pause and play once more and YEP it was still doing it's thing I just wasn't processing it any more.

      sooo ok, ... wait does that mean it worked? In truth I can't really say for sure, yet. While I think it has helped in not getting me so jumpy/upset when an unexpected sound blows off near me and I am better able to pinpoint sounds to a place or person now where before it was often the case I looked in the wrong direction when someone called my name (eccos messed up my sense of sound direction sometimes) I am not 100% convinced it has worked to a point where I say its life changing.
      However I have read that once your ears/inner-ear/brain re-calibrate and get back to having predictable sounds every day you're still able to reap the rewards of better sudden sound handing and unexpected pressure changes for years to come.

      So yea, win I guess.


      Oh and if you're wondering why I didn't talk about Seryn, well she took it in her stride, She didn't see the point to it but a pay of 2 euro per day quickly changed her mind... she didn't bat a eyelid at any part of it after that and looked to enjoy the music ...
      So I guess we will have to wait and see how she reacts to those sounds that almost always set her off.




      In case it's needed, here is the link to the place who provided the equipment and training: http://www.filteredsoundtraining.net/

      Oh and that site really needs updating...

      The staff at the Lucena clinic in wicklow are providing Seryn's support and are helping a lot.

      see: http://www.lucenaclinic.ie/
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      Hmm interesting stuff indeed! I don't have an issue with sudden noises (other than what most people have - car alarm going off suddenly, someone creeping up and making me jump) but more I literally hear everything!
      I will check out the links thanks

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      Ah life of an aspie can be strange at times.


      Like today, So over the weekend I have a work mates laptop in for repair in my place. He said it was running a little slow so I said I'd have a look.

      OK so in my life I never really connect with most people or 'feel' for them like I see most others do, however having to tell him his laptop was hacked and it still had hacker tools installed was painfull! It was like the laptop for the two days I had it was my pet Dog and the little guy was about to die or something. I was hurting!
      OK he got it back a lot better than how he gave it to me but still, I really wanted to take as much time as needed to sort it out myself.

      I have felt this connection before with 'things' and have often wondered if this is the same thing NT's feel for eachother....

      As for the laptop, I had to gave it back sick as it was, I told him to please use the restore disks that came with it and to let me know how he /it got on.
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      Default Wait, you try to tell me what I can call/say about me?

      OK so as more of the people in my day to day life find out about the Aspie side of me I have come here to rant.


      WAIT, Where do you people get off telling me what I am and am not called... by myself!? At what point in your life did my life and my brain become offensive to you?

      How FUCKING dare you tell me how I do or do not describe me, myself and what I am in this life stuck with you frigging backward thinking know it alls.

      GRRR... EDIT:

      ...

      ..

      .


      OK, you know what, I had to cut this rant short and I just end up doing the aspie thing and going super detail into every thing and before long this is one HUGE post.


      So I found a aspie (funny, its made by a fellow ASPIE, Go figure!) vid that deals with it PERFECTLY ! OK so she also makes the point a few times over but hey it's an aspie thing we do so DEAL WITH IT!

      Dont care? fine then don't watch the 24 min vid, but if you do care and/or want to learn something about me/us/NT's and maybe yourself, ok go nuts and hit play button.


      Enjoy.


      Ha ha yea I did over use the ASPIE word, once more, DEAL WITH IT!

      You frigging NT's make me so mad at times.




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