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Samael
February 20th, 2009, 01:34 PM
Self defense / Sense of being safe

I live in a big city and recently I've heard a lot of stories from friends of people being attacked without any reason and it kinda got to me. I never go to bad areas of the city and I'm never going out very late and if I do, I always get taxi and walk as little as possible, but this all means nothing. I would not care if I get mugged as long as I don't get hurt, but you can never tell with these things. With what has happened in last 15 years there are a lot of crazy people on the streets. Reason why I go out very rarely and when I do only to places with good security.

About a year ago, I was going to my university, it was 11:30 AM when I was jumped by this guy telling me to give him my phone. I naturally would, but his hand was moving strangely like he was having a knife and getting it to me. I jumped, pushed him from me, run as fast as I could and called out to a police. People that were in coffeehouse near sow me AND NO ONE helped or called the police. In that moment I heard a familiar voice. It was a friend I didn't see in 10 years and he thought it would be funny. Well, we are no longer friends to put it out simply. I know it was not serious, but it looks serious to me and I had nightmares weeks after.

Soon after that I stooped going to gym late, because I didn't feel safe at all. Today, when I was coming back home I was talking to this friend about all these things and I went into army shop and bought myself a peeper spray or mas. It was an impulse buy for me, because I KNOW I WOULD NOT buy it later. I felt and I still do feel very bad about buying it, I didn't even unpack it. I read instructions and decided only to chary it with me when I'm going out and coming back home late, at 3 or 4 AM, which for me is extremely rare. My friend want to buy another for him, but they only had one at the moment.

I feel like I did something bad and I don't plan to tell my family about it, I will keep it hidden in my room, but to be honest 7 EUROS is a small price to pay for at least some sense of being safe, I don't know how else to describe it. I decided to start going to gym before school, which is perfect time and maybe find some self defense class to go to. Just to boost my confidence.

I read online that a lot of people have these things with them, because of dogs and nothing else, so I try to tell myself that. I don't know

Narnia
February 21st, 2009, 02:51 PM
Hey Samael!!

First it's good you are following your instincts and your intuition! Secondly, its a drag and a disappointment to be put in the situation you are in right now, whether you live in the city or not, but it always pays to be prepared and to be a step ahead, it gives you the upper hand of the situation. Better be safe than sorry!

Its interesting and yet very sad at the same time, to read that no one came to your aide when you called out for help....even though your 'friend' was pulling a practical joke.

Hmmm, *she taps her finger on her chin*....an observation I have made over the years in general, is that it strikes me that there is an overall complacency and fear that is gripping people in this day and age. People are becoming more and more disengaged with each other and the willingness to help has become a second thought.

Here in the US (recently), many times one will read and or hear in the news about, a 'hit and run', someone getting hit by a car and left to die in the street with all their dignity and honour evaporating with their life, while onlookers do absolutely nothing to help and just gawk at the situation.

Anyway, getting back to your predicament, I HIGHLY recommend getting an air horn as well, marking your location and defeafing your attacker (if it should happen at all and hopefully it wont to you) with a wicked loud noise at the same time will help you even more! :)

In the words of ENIGMA....


Don't think twice before you listen to your heart.

Best wishes to you dear friend and be safe!

SoulChild
February 21st, 2009, 03:55 PM
yes, I have seen situations...mostly in NY where someone could be getting beat down in a park..and people just ignore it. 2020 even did a documentary on that. They did a test, put a woman and man in park...made it look like he was abusing her..to see if anyone would help. They did the test seperately for Blacks and Whites. Unfortunately, the Black lady was less likely for someone to help her....but, I don't know, this test was several years ago.

I have been in situations myself in NY. I am one of the lucky ones, who always got home unharmed. Yet, many close calls! I think part of the reason for me is my confidence...I didn't walk around scared or nervous. People can pick up on that just like dogs can so-called smell your fear.

Now that I am a little older, my confidence level has gone down slightley, yet the fact that I am athletic builds some more confidence. I have keyless entry to my vehicle, and I don't put myself in certain situations such as walk to my car alone at night at work...I would have someone walk with me or watch untill i get into my vehicle.

Some people at my job carry a taser or mase...yet, I am not one of those people. some people are paranoid about identity theft and the likes, and I am not one of those people...yet, I will practice behaviors that will prevent identity theft, such as shred my paperwork, or wait till everything is expired before throwing away. But, some people are overly paranoid...and I actually think that those people are the ones who get affected quicker...sort of like they wished it on their own selves.

God's Toy
February 23rd, 2009, 01:20 PM
You know something? I think having a way to defend yourself can land you in worse trouble than having nothing to help you.

I myself hold a blue belt in Judo, I always felt I was able to take on anyone who wanted to give it a try... A few years ago I was 'hopped on' while coming home on a train. Did I win? lol nope , but the lessen learned was that 4 will always beat 1 no matter how good you think you are.

Samael
February 24th, 2009, 05:49 PM
You know something? I think having a way to defend yourself can land you in worse trouble than having nothing to help you.

I myself hold a blue belt in Judo, I always felt I was able to take on anyone who wanted to give it a try... A few years ago I was 'hopped on' while coming home on a train. Did I win? lol nope , but the lessen learned was that 4 will always beat 1 no matter how good you think you are.

I know what you mean and not that I think you did, but there is a difference between being confidante and looking for trouble.

I was not totally honest here, I was thinking about this for a while and it came to me. I was attacked when I was 8 or maybe 10 years old. It was very strange, a group of much older guys. I thought they looks suspicious so I tried to go across the street but they followed me and started pushing and punching me. I was alone and thought best defense would be just to speed up and go into closest building. After that my "walk" did become a bit more aggressive so to say and nothing similar happened again, until incident I already described. I know what Liz meant and I totally agree.

In the end I told my family about spray and everyone thought it was OK.

Rana
March 2nd, 2009, 07:02 AM
we moved out of the city suburbs to the coast 3 years ago and we are never going back ..for many reasons ..my brother is an inner city dweller and he wouldnt have it any other way ..yes he has been faced with alot of what you described but like you he is safetly concious ..he doesnt have kids so for me we just found a safer place ..

Samael
March 15th, 2011, 11:54 PM
Yea, I'm kinda going to bring this thread back to life, because something happened to me just few hours ago..

I was sitting in my room, reading something online when I heard a woman screaming and screaming loud.. I jumped at my windows but sow nothing rite away, few secs after a woman screaming and crying.. She was robbed.. Now, I live in a very very safe part of the city, very low crime rate, so I was kinda shocked at this, bit scared as well, I mean it was only 7 pm.. It was probably a drug addict or something, maybe even someone I know, I heard some of my old elementary school friends are into those things now and with the economy and everything, I can't say I'm surprised..

This happened behind my building, there is a little dark alley, which I NEVER go true, because people walk dogs there often and you don't mix me and dogs without leashes.. During the summer, this place is FULL with kids and people with small children, sometimes they play music or make bbq, no one is bothered, because its sorta fun, but in the winter and spring its always empty and dark..

I don't think I'm going to bed tonight any time soon :D