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God's Toy
November 30th, 2013, 07:06 PM
You know it's funny, I never wanted to do one of these things.

Suppose I never wanted anyone to see this side of me... I felt they had no reason too I guess. I mean, they didn't need to know anything more than what I choose to tell em right? So this 'age of internet' goes, we share what we choose to let people think they see the real us, the best side of us.... so I don't need to say/show/do anything more about it then? cool! OK lets say no more and move on...

Like you already know GT, Peter and Sumedha anyway don't you? we are one in the same, a guy obsessed with tech in all it's forms, my obsession or focus lately (10 yeas plus) is phones, tablets, computers tech, then there is a guy wanting to be forever alone (read: on my own, in my own world, that means with nobody else here but myself) with myself, my mind and my ideas about how this universe works. Also here is a Buddhist, seeing kerma in everyday life while doing my best to be on the right side of it.

But lately I have been looking back over the years of this life so far and while learning so much in that process about myself, I have over and again been reminded that at the very least some of you guys need a little bit of knowledge about me, something I never said before to anyone in computer land before (well here anyway) however I suspected some of you have always known. Still reading eh? Ok we move on.

A little background then? OK. Growing up I didn't understand why people didn't just say what they meant, I mean they did kinda but it was always in a silly non logical way that wasn't very efficient and took far too long to just say what you meant!!! It was this difference that made me think they were wrong, backward, unevolved and so I tended to avoid people like this.
Many years on we have the internet forums, social media and while Ive become much better at 'getting it' (or at least pretending too) sometimes it's even harder to understand what someones feeling within the post if they don't clearly state it out and if I had trouble understanding it I would tend to just avoid answering for fear of misunderstanding your point.

So this brings me to today, this thread and this post, my question to you is. Was I dismissive or cutting to your point of view? on here, EMB, my open twitter account (@gods_toy if your wondering) or other forums I use? Or maybe I came across as uncaring in my reply? sometimes I'm just was unable to find the right way to react to what you said (read: didn't really know how to)... so I didn't... Maybe I just didn't know what to do next so I froze and did nothing...

Well for the most part the quick answer is 'I'm not wired up like most of you' some of you already know this, and believe me it pains me to not just get to the point of this thread and say it!! So OK the full, final and ultimate answer is what you need and here it is:


My name is Peter and I have Aspergers syndrome.

God's Toy
November 30th, 2013, 07:23 PM
Ok then you made it this far, now you're probably wondering Aspergers Syndrome? What's that?
Well first I will tell you what it is not in relation to this thread, it is not is an excuse on my part to avoid responsibility for stuff said here or anywhere on the net.

According to autismireland.ie it is calssed as:



(AS) is a complex brain disorder and is seen as part of the Autistic Spectrum. Generally those affected by the condition have an IQ within the normal range but may have extremely poor social and communication skills. Common characteristics can be a lack of empathy, little ability to form relationships, one-sided conversations and an intense absorption with a special interest. Sometimes movements can be clumsy.


There are a lot of symptoms connected with the condition and nobody will ever have all of the symptoms and no two people will ever have the same combination of symptoms. The majority of people with Asperger Syndrome will experience difficulties in developing their social, communication and emotional skills.

Asperger Syndrome or AS for short is part of the autistic spectrum and shares some of the same characteristics as autism. Many people with Asperger Syndrome experience impairments in the following areas: -

Social Interaction
Individuals can have problems interacting socially; they may seem quiet or be called “loners”. Some people with AS can appear socially inappropriate or naive.

Communication
Individuals can have problems with over elaborate or double meaning language and may interpret some things literally. Some people with Asperger Syndrome may need visual written back-ups and prompts.

Imagination
Individuals may be very rigid thinkers and relay a lot on timetables and routines. Some people with Asperger Syndrome will have problems grasping concepts that aren’t very black and white. Asperger Syndrome was only confirmed as a distinct Autistic Spectrum Disorder in the early 1990's. Some professionals and members of the public have a limited understanding of Asperger Syndrome.




And in the intrest of balance

Dependable – people with AS desire routine and so are punctual, reliable and dependable

Commitment – they are loyal and hardworking

Specialist knowledge – many people with AS have a high knowledge in specialist areas. This interest can be especially beneficial for an employer

Recall – people with AS are often good with facts and figures and have a good memory for detail

Concentration – people with AS can have good concentration for tasks that others find boring or repetitive

Logical thinkers – people with AS can be very skilled at logical problem solving




Having AS does not mean that a person is any less intelligent that the next person. In fact, many studies have shown that people with AS often have above average intelligence in specific areas and may excel in mathematics or music, for example.

God's Toy
November 30th, 2013, 07:30 PM
In this thread I want to drop in and out from time to time just adding to things as I need, too provide an insight to the world from an Aspie point of view.

Just to add, there is a lot of good sides to being an aspie! intense focus and being able to take in huge amounts of information and recall it all at a monent's notice are just two. In this thread I would like to call out the stereo typical view from NT's (Neurotypical/'Normal people' ) who just don't understand what is really going on in the Apsie mind and to point out just how many of us there are 'here' and, to be frank, how we have taken over and shaped the world without you ever knowing... Human 2.0 and super connected minds ... more later on that....

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read, know and understand me/us/them better.

Anjou
November 30th, 2013, 08:55 PM
These are powerful posts, beginning a thread of pointed honesty and openness. They humble me a bit.


Dependable – people with AS desire routine and so are punctual, reliable and dependable

Commitment – they are loyal and hardworking

Specialist knowledge – many people with AS have a high knowledge in specialist areas. This interest can be especially beneficial for an employer

Recall – people with AS are often good with facts and figures and have a good memory for detail

Concentration – people with AS can have good concentration for tasks that others find boring or repetitive

Logical thinkers – people with AS can be very skilled at logical problem solving


During my three years participating in this diverse community, all of these traits were obvious or were discernible just beneath the surface.
It is rewarding to see our administrator, he who often hangs back, identify and share self-knowledge. We all do it to larger or smaller degrees, but this is unadorned and direct, the writing of a committed specialist who knows himself full well.

I feel that it deserves a comment of appreciation and thanks. :Boy_yes3:

Kiran
November 30th, 2013, 11:16 PM
I have just spent a year working with a young woman who has AS. She was a delight and a pleasure to be with, also had ADHD, a quick and funny sense of humour and a huge issue with talking lollol
When she first started with us, she was very shy, had been treated as the baby in her family due to her 'condition' and found it hard to interact easily with people but only on the phone. She used to get in huge flaps and panics about things but give her a task connected to IT and she would sort it out no problem.
One thing this amazing young woman told us all, was that as she was aware she had issues in social dealings and communicating with people, she knew it was no excuse to be rude, bad mannered and not considering people's feelings when she spoke directly. Her mission in life, was to accept responsibility for those interactions and trying to focus on how she could improve this situation.
She amazed and humbled me constantly! She had me in knots laughing and frustrated me at times. I am so honoured I got to know this amazing 23 year old who had a unique perspective on life and yet, took complete responsibility for things and never used this as an excuse.

Good for you for sharing Peter and I have worked with several people on various levels of the autism spectrum and good for you for opening up. Its always the biggest step to healing ourselves.

God's Toy
December 1st, 2013, 12:02 AM
Thanks guys, its nice knowing I have a place on the interwebs like MW, lol even if I do own it!

Its so nice to read such nice words, really lifted my heart. I thank you.

Yes I hate to see people use the Aspie stereo types behavior as a excuse or a right to be rude to other people. Its sad but it happens, more often its by people who Dont have it but like the freedoms it gives them to say they do.

It sometimes hardest for me when I just Dont see how what I said could be 'wrong' when i just told the truth of how things are, even if/after its spelled out to me why its considered rude or inappropriate I often just agree to move on past the debate without fully 'agreeing' with what was said.

More often I feel people should be told how things really are and not play those stupid games where they Dont say what they mean but still get offended if you Dont pick up on what they are not even saying... But fully understand that is my cross and apart from other aspies, I'm mostly alone in that way of thinking.


But please remember this, (as Dr G says in the video below) if you meet one aspie, you met one aspie. That is to say just like everyone on this planet, you can't compare one to the other as we are all different. Please Dont tar us all with that limited thinking.



Thanks for responding.




Here is a video that should help people find more info understand better.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg1Ngp1nGds

Narnia
December 2nd, 2013, 05:40 PM
Dearest Peter!

Be still my heart! I am absolutely delighted to see this thread of yours and enjoyed reading every word of it, good for you sweetheart!! And as you said, even though you own MW; it is a place for everyone, it is a wonderful place to be, it gives one the opportunity to share such things openly that maybe difficult to share that are a part of one's Life, and being able to do it at one's own pace - allows for growth. Everyone has their own unique journey in this thing we call Life and it is a beautiful thing we can share them together .... so, I too, thank you for sharing this part of you that makes you, YOU!

Thank you for allowing us, your friends and family, help us o understand the inner workings of you a little bit better.

Always, :giveheart

God's Toy
December 3rd, 2013, 06:36 AM
Thanks polls, your kind words are help make MW the wonderful place it is!

In this thread among other things I'm going to be pointing out how thinking is different between NT's and Aspie minds and that just because the aspie mind can seem stuck like a fright train on a track of logic and just 'telling it like it is' (regardless of how in the 'real' world such thinking can be considered hurtful and/or rude)
I feel we must also point out that living in this planet with so many NT's and their apparent lack of high functioning logic and almost spaghetti junction like way of dealing with things can be draining and cause frustration but at times can be beneficial and efficient. A more balanced approach to both mindsets I think will help everyone.
I'm not saying one way is right or one is wrong, just pointing things out as I feel needed.

Kiran
December 3rd, 2013, 03:17 PM
I would also like to add, in the interest of balance, that no matter who we are or what we choose to label ourselves, or have others label us, we are all unique individuals and I personally do not like being labelled anything except me. Bearing in mind also that Aspergers, is only one of a 'newly' identified group of issues, there are going to be many other things coming to light. Are these new? Or are they things that have always been around and people are only now labelling them? Just as people who are now labelled as schizophrenic etc were also the shamen of old.

I prefer not to be called a NT, an Aspie or whatever terms people use. I am wired as I am wired, I have learned to deal with it and the conditioning that also contributed to who and what I am. I have always been vehemently opposed to being labelled this or that for my own personal reasons. I am just me....a spiritual being having a human experience.

You are you Peter. If you choose to take on a label and be defined as something, as Polly said, good for you for clarifying things from your perspective.

God's Toy
December 3rd, 2013, 06:43 PM
Hey peeps,

To be more clear incase anyone was/is wondering, I can't say I choose to take on a label and/or defined by it as such, but more so it's having dealt most frustratingly with supposed 'NT 'people (as I prefer to call them in context of this thread to highlight the differences between mindsets) defining me as such. You guys can call yourself whatever you want to in this wonderful free world, it's all good. I however have found myself agreeing with the aspie way of looking at this world, their logic of how things should/would/could be long before I realised what it was called or labeled by some, to me it just was the way I was built and for the reasons of this thread I will be using NT and aspie to differentiate the two.


To be honest with everyone I could not give a monkeys who does or does not read/agree/disagree or comment on/in/about this thread as it is simply my record for my keeping. Maybe I'll posts 50 posts a week or maybe one per year, maybe i'll engage in responses, ask for comments or maybe I won't. I hope not but If people are being put off by it I can create a private forum just for it/and/or those wanting to see it updated, hell, I can make a forum just for them if they want some alone time! so it's all good :)






I will also be getting podcasts and videos and linking them back here, feel free to view if you wanna, you may just learn something, or not, its all good :)

God's Toy
December 3rd, 2013, 08:35 PM
Subtypes/Signs and Symptoms (Part 1/2)






http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-Z4iqrezAU

God's Toy
December 4th, 2013, 11:07 PM
Friendships?
I've been divided many time on this, in most parts of my everyday life I couldn't give a mutts left nut who likes or dislikes me and/or why, it is my default to not want to connect/chat to anyone for any reason other than information exchange unless I have to. *EDIT: I suppose that does not count when one is acting 'normal', play-acting for those times when you have to fit in, for the sake of the team/family or whatever the case?*
But yet, hmm... I suppose this programming of being Human is there doing it's thing, that 'need' for connection with another person(s) every now and then comes up and I feel like 'Yea I want to hang out with someone'.
I have one school chum who I see about every 5 years or so, we catch up and Skype a bit and then it's 'oh look, its 5 more years', maybe that ties me over.
Have often wondered what it would be like to have a 'friend' call over, just to say Hi, coming out for a drink' or something. Would I welcome the random-ness? lol wouldn't be going out mind you but have wondered all the same.









http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-NgVOivg2o

Lion Spirit Walker
December 6th, 2013, 09:54 PM
Well done Peter.
...

God's Toy
December 7th, 2013, 08:07 PM
Thanks. its been a long time coming that for sure.


Still the same guy you know, just saying something I've never said before (publicly)

Its a watch this space kinda thing... if you want to that is.

Lion Spirit Walker
December 7th, 2013, 08:46 PM
Certainly keeping my eyes open.

Narnia
December 8th, 2013, 11:53 PM
Its a watch this space kinda thing... if you want to that is.

I do very much!! :)

God's Toy
January 10th, 2014, 01:24 PM
Oh yes, having conversations with normal people can be very hard when you don't understand the simple things they are referring to (sometimes I wish people would just say what they mean).. Here is a typical example from a post on another website dealing with this very issue.



Asperger’s Syndrome versus Alpha Male Syndrome


(Social interactions can get easier over time, but not always less awkward, as this recent post demonstrates. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way. I grew up before Asperger’s was a diagnosis. As a result, I had to learn my own coping mechanisms for navigating the social world. The mechanisms I taught myself, like mimicry and social scripting, helped…but they also created problems of their own. The moral of this story: find a balance between navigating small talk and being yourself. Otherwise? You’re on the hook for a long line of dead-end conversations.)

December, 2009

Monday morning, 7 a.m.

I make a rare appearance in the break room at work. I’m sipping coffee, trying to wake up. I’m standing in the corner hoping to avoid people, but a co-worker makes intentional eye contact and starts walking towards me. I think, “Why, god? Why?” I can’t remember his name or which department he’s from.

The protective social mimicry kicks in.


Co-worker: Dude, can you believe it?

Me: Dude, I really can’t.

I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Co-worker: You know what I’m talking about … right?

Me: Of course. You’re talking about … you know, what a surprise it was.

C: I know! Twenty-one six in, like, no time at all!

I blank out … pause … then realize that this is likely a sports reference of some sort.

M: I mean, really. It was crazy.

C: Psshh. Best-team-in-the-league? Not anymore, buddy.

M: I know, right?

C: Did you see the whole thing?

M: Oh yeah. You didn’t give up on it, did you?

C: Almost. Dude … I almost stopped at half time.

“Half time” … we’re probably talking about football. Was the super bowl this weekend? Should I make a super bowl reference? No. Not yet. Rule #1 in conversing with humans: stay vague.

M: Still, games like that … that’s what it’s all about.

C: Oh no doubt.

Yikes. He’s looking at me expectantly, but I’m out of ammo. I’m glancing at the door behind him, thinking, “He’s on to you! Run!”

M: So.

I need to bait him into saying something. What do they do in football?

M: The, um, throwing game…

I pause to see if he’ll pick up the slack.

C: Seriously. It killed, you know? I mean, it was non-existent there for awhile, I didn’t think it was gonna happen, but yeah. It killed.

M: He stepped up when it mattered.

I’m assuming there’s a notable “he” involved; seems like a safe bet.

C: They oughtta shorten his last name to just “Man,” you know?

What?

M: Yes! There’s an idea. And put a “the” in front of it. The Man.

C: Boo-yeah!

M: Woo!

He holds a fist up. I experimentally hold a fist up. He proceeds to tap his knuckles against mine. Oh god … have I just been initiated into a weird sports cult?

M: Wow, look at the time. I’m late for a meeting…

There is no meeting.

C: Take it easy, bro.

I flee the scene.

God's Toy
January 12th, 2014, 12:46 AM
So I got a PM From a friend, it hit me that I haven't spoke to him in over 6 months.


Sometimes I just hate being locked with my own mind as no matter how I want to... I know I wont.


Here is one of a few songs that perfectly capture everything I mean as my mind just like his room, a playground for his toys, a place of unlimited wonderland and adventure, is my place to be, me. the chorus says "I'd LIKE to make myself believe" suggesting a desire of something that can not be accomplished. To be 'Me' with you.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi-nEY8kL_0

God's Toy
January 16th, 2014, 08:46 PM
I would agree with a lot of this.



http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BeDorUPIEAASqjG.jpg:large

God's Toy
January 17th, 2014, 09:23 PM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BeJQ8SeIIAAKOAc.jpg:large




Hmm me? Have a party!

Lion Spirit Walker
January 19th, 2014, 07:54 PM
As I'm sure you well know my friend, through adversity we grow.

God's Toy
January 20th, 2014, 10:46 PM
As I'm sure you well know my friend, through adversity we grow.

Indeed we do.

God's Toy
January 20th, 2014, 10:47 PM
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BecTWhIIUAAkkIX.jpg:large









The Aspie mind never sleeps.

God's Toy
January 20th, 2014, 10:57 PM
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BeXscOXIAAAxrhz.jpg

Lion Spirit Walker
January 21st, 2014, 08:01 PM
Pardon me. But the posts above gave me a couple chuckles. :)

God's Toy
January 21st, 2014, 09:33 PM
Thats me all over, part wants to be included but most of me doesn't want to know.
So yea, invite me but just know I've no interest in: you, your friends, you're life, small talk, anything that involves more than one person. .. But thanks so much for the invite, it meant a lot.

See? Clear as mud.






Now lets look at a typical 'conversion': Fact stated, but...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg0hbQGV3F0

God's Toy
January 28th, 2014, 12:07 AM
"All my life
I've been fighting a war
I can't talk to you or your friends
It's not only you"

Lion Spirit Walker
January 28th, 2014, 03:41 PM
Reading through these posts I'm reminded of just how unique each of us truly are.
Ty Peter.

God's Toy
January 28th, 2014, 07:57 PM
Yep we are all unique and all the same. Thank you for being you!


Times i'm up times i'm down = me being me, AsIAm (http://asiam.ie/)

God's Toy
January 30th, 2014, 07:56 AM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BfL8jhuIMAA5bEk.jpg:large

Its not just teens....

God's Toy
January 30th, 2014, 08:55 PM
"At long last I am learning to accept people's hypocrisy and inconsistency. I don't blame them for their faults but I want no part of it"

God's Toy
January 30th, 2014, 09:03 PM
" I was asked how I can possibly be wired differently to them. I replied by saying you think in emotional circles, I think in logical squares"

Narnia
January 31st, 2014, 01:32 PM
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BecTWhIIUAAkkIX.jpg:large

On par with an artist's mind ... which I suppose makes most artists Aspie's as well ....

God's Toy
January 31st, 2014, 03:48 PM
Most of the ones i get along with anyway, but it really depends on what you mean by 'artists'? Like maybe fine art like what you can do? That would be up for debate as fine and/or gross motor skills is a known issue for a large number (myself included) Also something where the Artists is trying to communicate something to the viewer could also be hard... I suppose however if I loved something enough to 'make something off it' and you were to enjoy that something, that could be classed as Art.



Having said that, here is a quick Google search:
https://www.google.com/search?q=artists+with+asperger%27s+syndrome&safe=off&sa=N&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:%7Breferrer:source?%7D&rlz=1I7ACAW_enIE386&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ei=_ELsUqOCJ5KV7AaCyIGIDQ&ved=0CIUBELAEOBQ&biw=1280&bih=637

BlueStar
February 3rd, 2014, 07:44 PM
Wow, it's lovely to see you with your own thread and openly expressing yourself Peter! :) You rock. I've always felt you have held back, and that you have a lot of wisdom and different perspectives to share. I learned years ago that the power of expression can never be underestimated...and we can express ourselves in so many ways, and each time we do it's giving a gift back to the world.

God's Toy
February 4th, 2014, 11:18 AM
Thanks Rory

It's a part of me I have never post online about before as I could not find the words to convey my feelings, thoughts and emotions or even to fully understand them/it myself.
Autism spectrum disorders and/or Aspergers syndrome (in my case) is prevalent in the media and TV right now, it makes it easy to bring up with people..kinda. I find aspie characters on tv shows like: Sherlock, The Bridge, Bones, (some say even Dexter), all show only parts of how it really is living day to day within my own mind
trying to make logical sense of this sometimes chaotic and emotional universe I have no choice but to share with everyone.... but Hey, that makes good TV for NT's that's for sure.
Also now that my little one is starting to show signs of it too I felt it was time for me to speak up as well.

I suppose at least in this thread its my way of expressing myself in the best way I know how . lol I suppose some people probably won't care about what I have to say really and that's cool as frankly life is too darn short so I don't give a damn either way !


Thanks Rory for your response, it's finally great to see that I can be myself on this thread at least with you all.

God's Toy
February 11th, 2014, 08:08 PM
Indeed.... http://mysteriouswisdom.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=1028&d=1392149171

God's Toy
February 18th, 2014, 10:43 PM
I dont always mean to speak my mind, fact - but i must do it more than I think.. by doing it when i don't think...

I find it very frustrating sometimes working with people, so called NT's mostly, my mind is saying this, while i try to not speak with them are around ... Yea i know, its my problem...


http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BgykrIyIAAEUee-.jpg

God's Toy
February 25th, 2014, 01:26 PM
In my experience, yes.


http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhRk5uDIYAE7Uvd.jpg

God's Toy
March 1st, 2014, 01:14 AM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhmWESAIMAEKqqI.jpg

God's Toy
March 4th, 2014, 12:17 AM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bh1pOG1IUAAGsaG.jpg


Yes it's hard for people to understand this.

God's Toy
March 4th, 2014, 06:30 PM
No its not necessarily a good thing, it keeps me thinking when most people don't.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bh4wX01IUAAlbdi.jpg

God's Toy
March 5th, 2014, 12:34 AM
Not just email but almost everything i have to decide...
Hate over thinking sometimes.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bh66YvVIUAA-J9q.jpg

inutero
March 8th, 2014, 03:19 AM
It's been a pleasure reading these posts. Thanks for sharing Peter. It seems I might have a few Asperger qualities. Yes, I called them qualities.

God's Toy
March 8th, 2014, 04:48 PM
It's been a pleasure reading these posts. Thanks for sharing Peter. It seems I might have a few Asperger qualities. Yes, I called them qualities.




Your very welcome! if your enjoying the content and/or you have learned something new about myself and/or AS in general then its doing its job. ;-)

Yes its both good and bad living with AS, sometimes its a drag like i just wish i didn't over possess things and get on with life like so many people can do... How they can just choose something or an action on the fly without fully understanding its possible consequences is beyond me.

But more often than not, as long as i am left to my own devices to do my own thing my way.... I'm happy being who i am.
Most problems in my life come from 'NTs' not understanding anything outside their own world with their (IMO) mostly repetitive/backwards thinking possess patterns sounding off at me about what I should be doing with my life while not understanding most of what I just said to them.... They just come across as having no clue about my world and its very tiring for me pretending to care what they think at all sometimes ... But hey that's my cross I suppose.

I'm trying not to come across as spewing 'hate' in this thread but I suppose it can look that way, but really as I'm stuck living in their world I'm just passing along the relevant information about seeing that world from my point off view, however sadly to most NT's the truth often hurts and apparently I have difficulties seeing/understanding how telling the truth is a bad thing... So i try to keep comments to myself and focus on simple pics and the odd video here and there.

Anyhoo it is what it is and I truly thank you for reading it.

Peace to you and yours.

God's Toy
March 10th, 2014, 01:49 AM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BiUXQEpIIAAEUlA.jpg

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BiUXYdZIMAE4_O5.jpg

God's Toy
March 24th, 2014, 04:42 PM
This really needs to be understood by most NT's


http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BjfPw6iCMAAYSl5.jpg

God's Toy
March 28th, 2014, 01:30 AM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BjxWmjVIgAEihOK.jpg

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BjxWcUiIIAAInvu.jpg

God's Toy
April 4th, 2014, 11:23 PM
Yes every time I sit in the canteen at work, every time I sit on a bus/train/any public transport. In fact, everywhere I go that's not in my car. I'll never understand why people tend to like to sit near each other. But hey, its a NT world after all.



http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BkVRasDIMAAMJ8_.jpg

God's Toy
April 15th, 2014, 03:55 PM
"Sometimes my words seem very random, but they are always connected. I just forget that you don't see the connections I make in my head"

God's Toy
April 27th, 2014, 11:16 PM
Often its not the words but what's meant behind them.




http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmPqwD_IYAIsBb4.jpg

God's Toy
April 27th, 2014, 11:25 PM
My own little one is haveing a very hard time of late with the simplest of choices.
Its hard to watch as she just can't choose what coat to ware and end up in a meltdown for a day afterwards.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmPrUZvIAAEYlA3.jpg

God's Toy
July 13th, 2014, 12:55 PM
So that time came, My little one was/is showing more and more signs that she may be an Aspie like her old man.
The school and daycare were both suggesting we have her tested as they cant really do much to help with out a diagnosis from a expert in the field... And I agree. It was far to late for me before I knew anything about AS, I learned my own way of coping with it without knowing or understanding anything was "wrong" heck look at me now, always seeking to be on my own with no friends... that's not the life I want for my little one.


SO only one thing left for us to do was to get her tested... And that's what we did. I cant say we were surprised to read that just like we suspected, our little one has been diagnosed with Aspergers... and a few more things to boot.. ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) She will probably grow out of ODD by age 8 or so says the expert says... lets hope so as her almost daily defiance to anything we say is getting harder to deal with.

So what does this all mean for us? Well we can now start to give her the help she needs and get support from the schools too so that we can help integrate her into living with NT's as best she can.


More to follow on this.

Mr B
July 15th, 2014, 10:55 AM
I'm kinda stunned and don't know very well what to say... At least it is confirmed and i am sure Seryn and you two get the all the guidance & help you can. :)

Anjou
July 19th, 2014, 07:58 PM
I'm kinda stunned and don't know very well what to say... At least it is confirmed and i am sure Seryn and you two get the all the guidance & help you can. :)

I was shell-shocked at first, and, like Mister B, I did not know what to say, but........
I think that knowing is better than not knowing. There is strength in knowledge.
There is likely also strength in a parent or mentor having walked this path and encountered some of the pitfalls.

Narnia
July 28th, 2014, 03:58 PM
No its not necessarily a good thing, it keeps me thinking when most people don't.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bh4wX01IUAAlbdi.jpg

I can relate ...

Narnia
July 28th, 2014, 04:01 PM
"Sometimes my words seem very random, but they are always connected. I just forget that you don't see the connections I make in my head"

I've always understood this about you dear Peter. :)

Narnia
July 28th, 2014, 04:03 PM
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BjxWmjVIgAEihOK.jpg

No pressure from me!! I fully understand the need to just .... BE. :giveheart

Narnia
July 28th, 2014, 04:05 PM
I think we all have certain qualities of AS in each of us. Perhaps the reason why we gravitate towards each other ... in some ways we understand how our minds/spirits operate. :)

God's Toy
August 20th, 2014, 07:39 PM
From a tweet I read today but yes yes oh god yes... Sadly every single time...

"I'm #autistic, I'm happy I've friends and know lots of people, but "bumping into" them - my mind races to find a "script" for chatting.."




But if things wonder of track I'm lost and suppose come off as rude as I make my exit

God's Toy
August 31st, 2014, 01:04 AM
Some quotes I agree with/like or just want to post:



“And now I know it is perfectly natural for me not to look at someone when I talk. Those of us with Asperger's are just not comfortable doing it. In fact, I don'treally understand why it's considered normal to stare at someone's eyeballs.”

John Elder Robison




“Females with ASDs often develop ‘coping mechanisms’ that can cover up the intrinsic difficulties they experience. They may mimic their peers, watch from the sidelines, use their intellect to figure out the best ways to remain undetected, and they will study, practice, and learn appropriate approaches to social situations. Sounds easy enough, but in fact these strategies take a lot of work and can more often than not lead to exhaustion, withdrawal, anxiety, selective mutism, and depression.

-Dr. Shana Nichols”




“When the anger is intense, the person with Asperger's syndrome may be in a 'blind rage' and unable to see the signals indicating that it would be appropriate to stop. Feelings of anger can also be in response in situations where we would expect other emotions. I have noted that sadness may be expressed as anger.”

― Tony Attwood



“I don't understand why people never say what they mean. It's like the immigrants who come to a country and learn the language but are completely baffled by idioms. (Seriously, how could anyone who isn't a native English speaker 'get the picture,' so to speak, and not assume it has something to do with a photo or a painting?)”


― Jodi Picoult


Human 2.0:

“What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool?

You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done.”


― Temple Grandin

God's Toy
August 31st, 2014, 01:52 AM
This is tailored to adults who have Aspergers and recently were diagnosed, but the list can apply to many ages and many conditions other than Aspergers Syndrome.


20 Things Not to Say to a Person with Aspergers

1. Everyone feels like that sometimes. [wait, what?]

2. Everything happens for a reason. [suppose that explains you anyway]

3. You’re fine. They have too many labels nowadays. [Dude STFU!]

4. That reminds me of me. I wonder if I have that too. [yep jump on the old wagon, c'mon we have loads of room..]

5. Things could always be worse. [Yes, there could be more NT's like you firing responses like that back at me...]

6. At least you don’t have autism. [WTF? ]

7. Don’t worry. Be happy. Think Positive. [yes thinking about it will help me get out of my mind... really?]

8. That’s no big deal. [Not for you anyway]

9. You’re too serious. Get out of your head and help others. [Ha, see no7...]

10. Everyone has problems. Stop analyzing yours. [oh yea cos your perfect...]

11. I never would have guessed. You seem so normal. [practice, practice , practice , practice , practice , practice ,practice ,practice ,.... getting it now?]

12. Are you sure? Maybe you need a second opinion. [ug.. just stop talking now]

13. Why do you think that? [you dont?]

14. That’s weird. Good luck. [gee, I take a huge step in telling, its probable one of the very few i did tell and that's your response...]

15. Aren’t you glad you found out? [wait, Should I be?]

16. That’s so trendy. Everyone thinks they have that. [yep, its everywhere now jump on... wait, see note no4]

17. Did you get an “official” diagnosis? [and you did to say your an NT]

18. I’m uncomfortable with people classifying themselves by a diagnosis. [Ha, so many things I could say but... lets just say you NEVER speak to me again and were sorted]

19. My cousin’s neighbor has Aspergers. [always one]

20. Well, now that you know, stop focusing on it, and get on with your life. [k, see all the last 19 notes there bud..]

God's Toy
January 13th, 2015, 11:39 PM
The following are from tweets from a Aspergers a conference:


People w/ Autism may socialise well / be life and soul of party but often relying on intellect rather than social skills

@AsIAmIreland A group of adults with Aspergers recently told Tony Attwood that anxiety was the biggest challenge in their lives

@AsIAmIreland Attwood - People with Autism incredibly over-sensitive to negative moods inothers

@AsIAmIreland Attwood - People with Autism very perceptive to people being over happy/affectionate or in a bad mood etc


ASD have emotional tides, keep a mood diary, plot overtime to identify danger points.

@AsIAmIreland Attwood: 86% of adults with AS have reported daily problems with anxiety #MCAutism

@AsIAmIreland Attwood: Sadness can often be expressed as anger by those with AS #MCAutism

God's Toy
February 16th, 2015, 10:39 PM
I'm thinking of adding some more here that I have related to personally.



I find Dilbert to be a really good reference of an aspie point of view having to deal with most NT's :7hit (1):






http://www.arcamax.com/newspics/112/11260/1126000.gif



Arriving to work most days: I just want to get in and get on with something, ANYTHING to do but have to do the pointless chatter..






http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/myl/llog/DilbertGenderGossip.gif





Talking to people: When I go to ask someone a question, does it matter that I should (or not) ask them questions not related to the reason I am there in the first place...







https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQeP2TGLuLkAKTmqYtDSBAlyt48-KrOrXh5jJcxwvCJ6bfqipEMMw


Yep GUILTY: Knowing what I do about myself now, I often find myself telling people 'how better' to do things without stopping to think they probably don't want to know or care what I have to say. But in that moment, My 'need' to make them better can seldom be held back. until that is, I have time to (over) think things.

God's Toy
February 16th, 2015, 11:14 PM
Often getting those two mixed up but at that time I see it so clear until I'm told, "Eh Peter, its sarcasm'.. or not.


https://classconnection.s3.amazonaws.com/202/flashcards/940202/jpg/dilbert-sarcasm-supportiveness-difference1331506614243.jpg









https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTgxaWJ2VYVu4ucvGis3jx4VPPdrVTP2kwNOtXwYmxkiGDsWfR3u Q




Fake interview: Yes I have been at some within my own work place .
Being asked join a committee with the promise of a full time job out of the end of it, be it the 'Computer upgrade'/'social networking' or 'new website upgrade' or anything along those lines by people who really should know better, I join and over the time we work on solvable problems.

When done some months later they will, A, let me get back/on with my old job with a simple 'thanks' now get back to what you were doing before... Meaning: no you wont even get credit for fixing the problems or upgrading anything) or B, we don't have a JOB as such but have some more project work coming down the line at a later date fob off reply/long term finger... Ehh what?.
Both A and B mean no new job for me but problem fixed for them.
I tell ya, sometimes I want to scream: DAMMIT I KNOW MORE THAT YOU! HOW DID YOU GET THAT JOB anyway!!!?? but don't as I'm not sure if the outcome will be A or B...

I smile than leave more angry that I let myself be fooled once more.

Anjou
February 21st, 2015, 07:52 PM
I so relate to this.





http://www.arcamax.com/newspics/112/11260/1126000.gif

Arriving to work most days: I just want to get in and get on with something, ANYTHING to do but have to do the pointless chatter..



I go to work every day much earlier than perhaps I need to, simply so that I can go to work and not have to greet everyone as each person arrives with their own stories of their commute or of their home life the night before. I am not antisocial, but I suppose I am borderline.

God's Toy
April 4th, 2015, 01:09 AM
Indeed. I too try avoid chats for many reasons but lately I am getting worried about my lack of voice control!
As I get older I'm finding it harder to 'hold my tongue' and say nothing or worse still blurt out whats on my mind bluntly without thinking what i'm saying!
This has lead to some awkward times and I fear it's starting to get out of hand. It's an almost unstoppable need to say what is there in my head and when I do I hear myself and wish I didn't ...


Just wish I could get a day of no one talking to me at all...

Kiran
April 7th, 2015, 10:02 PM
Indeed. I too try avoid chats for many reasons but lately I am getting worried about my lack of voice control!
As I get older I'm finding it harder to 'hold my tongue' and say nothing or worse still blurt out whats on my mind bluntly without thinking what i'm saying!
This has lead to some awkward times and I fear it's starting to get out of hand. It's an almost unstoppable need to say what is there in my head and when I do I hear myself and wish I didn't ...


Just wish I could get a day of no one talking to me at all...

LOL The older you get, the worse that gets! I know!

God's Toy
April 15th, 2015, 08:17 PM
I hear ya Lorri, I wish I had a auto mute control that let me say what I feel but no one hears it!

God's Toy
April 15th, 2015, 08:19 PM
I like Dr G as he celebrates Asperger's syndrome! To him, aspies as awesome!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hpl7QJXHXVo

God's Toy
May 4th, 2015, 01:07 AM
So it has come around once more in my life...

OK the story is a repeating one, perhaps so because of the the way I've always dealt with things ... or not 'dealt' with them. :rawrrrrr1:
anyhoo its that old chestnut: Making a new friend

Where I work are very short staffed due to number being cut and people moving on, so in the meantime we are getting some Temps in to help us out with the day to day stuff that takes up most of our time.

So to start:
A new temp guy in work has spent some time with me ( a few weeks now) as I show him how this place works and what I do in the many departments day to day. So I try the 'get to know you' lines I see NT's use all the time, as after all the email did say: "OK Peter", the email said, "You must show him all you do, be supportive, be friendly". hmm.... Wait, like a friend? naa I say to my self, ill just pass on all I know and not get involved in the day to day stuff and just 'play' the part they want me to play, you know, put on that mask you always use and ACT it out for as long as I'm told too. after all He will never know and it will only be for a short while.

Fast forward a few weeks and I'm finding myself almost looking forward to seeing him come in and hearing about his time off, he's a cool guy, witty and sharp....perhaps I should open up a little more? after all its been a long time... BUT WAIT Pete!! 'STOP it' I hear myself say, you know where this leads too, that place of not wanting to do that whole 'Friend stuff' of bonding and hanging out while also wanting to have him around! and yes this will end up letting yet another one get away as you fight back and forth this endless battle in your head.

OK so I hold back, ease off on the 'cool dude' stuff I can dish out....(so I'm told anyway) and all is good, until He says
"Hey dude, we should hang out!" Or "if I'm wrong, I'll buy you a paint, where do you drink anyway?" a few too many times.... wait, :huh1: I pretend not to hear those as I know as soon as I say NO it will change the status of the relationship and he will think I'm an ass.

So I back off.

Everything is fine until one day he comes out and says, "I want to hang out with ya dude"! :errrr1: WHAT?.... And BANG! there it goes, I have to recoil back into not talking, being 'me' be that 'Robot' with cold logic at its core, people leave you alone when hes out as just look what being this cool Pete dude has once more landed you in, a place that I don't want to be, a place of 'Hanging out' of doing stuff' with someone... A person who is cool in many ways but just wont understand that I cant do that stuff with people in the real world as I wont care about it in the long run.


And so we come here to remind myself, to post here so I can learn from this... Pete, if it's across the internet, its fine, no big deal, no demands no expectation no commitment, just look at the cool guys you know on MW, on Twitter and the many boards your apart off, but please don't go looking for more than that in the 'real' world... just don't.







:mumbles1:

God's Toy
May 19th, 2015, 10:29 AM
Peter:

If in a meeting, Dont ever do what I did and scream 'if the person doesn't stop kicking my ****ing chair I'll kick your ****ing head in'.



Yes you did that yesterday and I Dont know how I/we/you wasn't sacked on the spot.

Sometimes #Asperger's is not so awesome...

God's Toy
May 26th, 2015, 12:04 AM
So Seryn and I started sound therapy today to help us/our ears/brain tune out all the unwanted sounds all around us that NT's do in every day life without even thinking about it.

... my head hurts, my ears hurt and are ringing... its only day 1 and we are two sessions in.

But I am standing firm in this, I/we can do it! after all its only two 30 mins of distorted music twice per day for 20 days. But my god 85 dB in your ear-hole is almost too much for me.


I will report here if anything changes.

Anjou
May 30th, 2015, 10:22 PM
Please keep us informed about this. I hope that sound therapy proves helpful or at least enlightening.
I think it great that you and Seryn have found this path to share.



So Seryn and I started sound therapy today to help us/our ears/brain tune out all the unwanted sounds all around us that NT's do in every day life without even thinking about it.

... my head hurts, my ears hurt and are ringing... its only day 1 and we are two sessions in.

But I am standing firm in this, I/we can do it! after all its only two 30 mins of distorted music twice per day for 20 days. But my god 85 dB in your ear-hole is almost too much for me.


I will report here if anything changes.

God's Toy
May 31st, 2015, 08:03 PM
Thanks, it's a learning for the both of us... Seryn doesn't see the point so she is being paid at this point...



We are over the halfway mark now and as I type this I'm playing session 13 myself. It can lead to headaches and/or tension across my face but noting I cant handle.
It is funny that Seryn's hearing test (before the the sound therapy started) was very close to mine with her left ear being dull to a few frequencies and her right doing more work.

Kiran
June 8th, 2015, 03:00 PM
I will be interested to see how this goes for you both Peter. The whole sound issue is a big point for many energy workers right now!
I know on a personal level, my hearing has become so acute, the 'normal' world is deafening! Only in nature or at home, where I can control the input to some extent, can I find some middle ground.
Good luck with it all.

God's Toy
June 10th, 2015, 08:20 PM
Prolog: I often have/had problems hearing people talking to me when something as simple as a squeaking wheel is making noise 50 meters away. I use to be told I was a an oddball as I found it very hard to concentrate when so many were talking around me... or sometimes just having them breeding in the same room set me off as it was so loud!




Ok so the audio sessions are over and this is my take on it.

As stated a few posts ago it was 20 sessions of 30 mins each at a volume of no less than 85 dB, this X 10 days. (2 sessions per day at least 3 hours apart) equipment was a set of sennheiser higher end headphones and Sony walkman plus a sound level booster and a sound level dB meter. (equipment was provided but I could have used my own if needed as it was all MP3 files anyway)

How the system works is you just listen to music for 30 mins at a time (songs chosen for a certain type of energy and tempo) limited selection of songs from 60's 70's 80's and 90's with a little 2000 added in too for good measure. Many of the songs were not my type of music but I suppose they had a reason to be there so I didn't let those tunes put me off.

How it supposedly helps your ears and brain is it will help you deal with sudden sound level changes by making something predictable as music a completely random sound mess. How it does this is simply by cutting the bass while lashing up the treble but only for a moment, then cut both with pounding up the midrange and now add some randomness like mega bass and other sounds like distortion and you're getting the picture here, yea it is not nice to listen too most of the time.


The first few days, say 1 to 3 were pure hell! My head hurt, my ears hurt and even my face hurt! I was dreading it after those few days.

Days 4 to 6 I was use to the sounds changing with almost no pain, no feeling of wanting to just tear those cans off my head and forget it, I was able to just put them on my head play the music and do stuff (nothing that would take my attention away from the music I might add)

Day 7 to 10, Wow I had to stop the recording a few times to see if the music was still changing in the same way as I sometimes could not hear it change at all.
Yep sounds kinda nuts but I was like "wait, is this thing still changing..." then I would pause and play once more and YEP it was still doing it's thing I just wasn't processing it any more.

sooo ok, ... wait does that mean it worked? In truth I can't really say for sure, yet. While I think it has helped in not getting me so jumpy/upset when an unexpected sound blows off near me and I am better able to pinpoint sounds to a place or person now where before it was often the case I looked in the wrong direction when someone called my name (eccos messed up my sense of sound direction sometimes) I am not 100% convinced it has worked to a point where I say its life changing.
However I have read that once your ears/inner-ear/brain re-calibrate and get back to having predictable sounds every day you're still able to reap the rewards of better sudden sound handing and unexpected pressure changes for years to come.

So yea, win I guess.


Oh and if you're wondering why I didn't talk about Seryn, well she took it in her stride, She didn't see the point to it but a pay of 2 euro per day quickly changed her mind... she didn't bat a eyelid at any part of it after that and looked to enjoy the music ...
So I guess we will have to wait and see how she reacts to those sounds that almost always set her off.




In case it's needed, here is the link to the place who provided the equipment and training: http://www.filteredsoundtraining.net/

Oh and that site really needs updating...

The staff at the Lucena clinic in wicklow are providing Seryn's support and are helping a lot.

see: http://www.lucenaclinic.ie/

Kiran
June 10th, 2015, 09:02 PM
Hmm interesting stuff indeed! I don't have an issue with sudden noises (other than what most people have - car alarm going off suddenly, someone creeping up and making me jump) but more I literally hear everything!
I will check out the links thanks :)

God's Toy
June 22nd, 2015, 07:51 PM
Ah life of an aspie can be strange at times.


Like today, So over the weekend I have a work mates laptop in for repair in my place. He said it was running a little slow so I said I'd have a look.

OK so in my life I never really connect with most people or 'feel' for them like I see most others do, however having to tell him his laptop was hacked and it still had hacker tools installed was painfull! It was like the laptop for the two days I had it was my pet Dog and the little guy was about to die or something. I was hurting!
OK he got it back a lot better than how he gave it to me but still, I really wanted to take as much time as needed to sort it out myself.

I have felt this connection before with 'things' and have often wondered if this is the same thing NT's feel for eachother....

As for the laptop, I had to gave it back sick as it was, I told him to please use the restore disks that came with it and to let me know how he /it got on.

God's Toy
July 19th, 2015, 07:43 PM
OK so as more of the people in my day to day life find out about the Aspie side of me I have come here to rant.


WAIT, Where do you people get off telling me what I am and am not called... by myself!? At what point in your life did my life and my brain become offensive to you?

How ****ING dare you tell me how I do or do not describe me, myself and what I am in this life stuck with you frigging backward thinking know it alls.

GRRR... EDIT:

...

..

.


OK, you know what, I had to cut this rant short and I just end up doing the aspie thing and going super detail into every thing and before long this is one HUGE post.


So I found a aspie (funny, its made by a fellow ASPIE, Go figure!) vid that deals with it PERFECTLY ! OK so she also makes the point a few times over but hey it's an aspie thing we do so DEAL WITH IT!

Dont care? fine then don't watch the 24 min vid, but if you do care and/or want to learn something about me/us/NT's and maybe yourself, ok go nuts and hit play button.


Enjoy.


Ha ha yea I did over use the ASPIE word, once more, DEAL WITH IT!

You frigging NT's make me so mad at times.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdrl9kt6v2I

God's Toy
April 3rd, 2016, 12:26 PM
If you know a child with autism, please direct them to/click/read this:


http://www.lookingforbluesky.com/2016/04/how-to-help-child-with-autism.html


https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hzJUGPg30Fg/VwALrXfLn_I/AAAAAAAALnc/11hiDfeD7hMZS0XkP53IKVBGjv2EtdMjQ/s1600/Autism%252C%2Bscary%252C%2Bunpredictable%252C%2Boverwhelming%2Bworld.p ng

God's Toy
April 3rd, 2016, 12:46 PM
Diagnosis are not just for kids you know, many people don't find out until later on in life.



Please read: What you see is not what you get: life as a female autistic
http://standardissuemagazine.com/voices/see-not-get-life-female-autistic/



https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ce9rgV2XEAAepIq.jpg

God's Toy
April 3rd, 2016, 02:40 PM
I have decided to move my autism thread out from behind the closed doors of a 'logged in member only' forum that's 'Soul Reflections' to one that open to all *all internet spiders for indexing and non members too to read... not that we get those anymore... or members for that matter. anyhoo its here now with a new name and may help someone at some stage.

Anjou
April 4th, 2016, 04:10 PM
Thank you for sharing the link and the information.


[QUOTE=God's Toy;40861]If you know a child with autism, please direct them to/click/read this:
http://www.lookingforbluesky.com/2016/04/how-to-help-child-with-autism.html

God's Toy
June 25th, 2018, 06:50 AM
It's so funny (and sad) that having AS in this day and age and being able just to 'adsorb' so much information on a wide range of tech related subjects, people all too often stop seeing the person inside and think I'm that that guy all the time. HA! Yea, put simply, I'm not. Nope what you see on the outside is the 'Sheldon' person who you think 'knows all'.. not the guy who goes out of his way to avoid people, who loves to be on his own as then he's not pretending and who cant bring himself to even sit in the lunchroom of 10 people most of the time. Nope this is the guy who's turning down promotions left and right not cos hes not able but as he just has to sit an course with other people to get it...

Yep I can understand why everyone loves (and hates) those Sheldon types of aspies as we come across like that but what your not seeing is the giving of knowledge is just to keep you at arms length away.